Daniel -Phan-
by kittyxuchiha11
Summary: It wasn't until later that it occurred to me that it was a strange place to meet someone. I mean, not many people can say that they met their best friend at a funeral. Even so, I knew then, even though I was only eight, that Dan and I would be friends for life. You could say that even from the start. We were like one person. Please read and review, it's going to be good i promise
1. Chapter 1

It wasn't until later that it occurred to me that it was a strange place to meet someone. I mean, not many people can say that they met their best friend at a funeral. Even so, I knew then, even though I was only eight, that Dan and I would be friends for life. You could say that even from the start

We were like one person

************************************************** *******************

"Come on. Standing here in the cold won't bring her back."

A small sniffle

"The last thing she would have wanted is to see us moping after her."

That was my mum. We were standing by My grandmothers grave.

This was her funeral

"I'll go get the car started"

That was dad. He had a small smile on his face that even I could tell was fake.

"Can I stay? I want to say goodbye on my own" that was the first time I had spoken since the funeral had started.

"You were always her favourite. Her 'special little boy'. Who's going to be your friend now? Don't think you can hang around with me and my friends"

That was Chris, my big cousin. He didn't seem to like me too much.

"Stop it Chris, this isn't the time to get on at him like this" Dad again, trying to defend me.

He took mums hand in his and placed his hand on Chris' back as he lead them both away towards the car. I just stared at the fresh grave. It really didn't look natural. It was hard to picture the woman who had been my only friend all these years buried under all that dirt. It was a weird idea. A small sigh escaped my lips as I sat down

"He's right you know. Now that you're gone, I've got no friend's. I wish you could have stayed longer…"

A few tears made their way down my cheeks as he gazed at the dirt in front of me. I gently traced two stick figures smiling happily in the dirt. A small smile formed on my own face as I looked at my picture. The smile soon disappeared

There would be no more happy times now

"It's hard, Isn't it? I mean, understanding…who was it?"

I looked up. My eyes meeting with dark brown ones. He was a boy, about the same age as me with brown slightly curly hair. He looked down at me, giving me a small smile.

"My grandmother"

It was a tiny little answer that came out. Not how I had wanted it at all. I quickly wiped my eyes as the boy slowly crouched beside me. He seemed to be observing my picture I had just drawn.

"Were you two close?"

"Closer than close" I answered, smiling softly as I reputed that phrase she has told me many times. She would always say 'we're closer than close, you and me'

"I'm sorry" the boy said with a small sympathetic smile. "I'm Dan by the way"

"I'm Phil"

I replied, flashing him a small smile. He looked at me then gently patted my shoulder

"It'll be okay, you know"

"Yeah…why are you here?" I asked shyly

"I'm visiting my family's graves. My mum, dad and brother" he replied, his smile not even faltering

Id love to be strong like him

"They all died?" I asked in a small voice, studying his face

"Yeah, at the same time in an accident"

"I'm sorry. I can't imagine what that's like"

He shrugged, removing his hand from my back "It was a while ago now" he paused, looking into my eyes "Where those people with you before your family?"

"Yeah, my parents and older cousin Chris"

"Wow, you're so lucky, a family. I'm jealous. I bet you and Chris have great fun together"

"Not really, we don't get on… He's just so popular. And I'm just…I'm not. I don't have any friends"

He looked surprised for a moment before his features returned to as they were before. He looked at the grave in front of us, looking deep in thought.

"Me too. I just never-"

"Seem too" I added

"Fit in"

We both smiled each other as we spoke at the same time. He was just like me. A lonely kid with no friends. He was perfect.

************************************************** *******************

And that was it, we were the best of friends. I couldn't believe that I found someone who was exactly like me. He was amazing. So perfect. He liked all the same things as me. Whenever I felt alone, he was there. We did everything together.

Best friends forever


	2. Chapter 2

"Come on! Hurry up!"

"Phil, wait up. Where are we even going?"

"You'll see, come on"

We both laughed as we ran. We were currently in a huge field with such tall grass it was pretty much like a jungle. This, of course was because we were still so small. Dan panted as he caught up, grinning wildly at me.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see" I repeated, returning the smile. I quickly took his hand in mine and gently tugged him in the direction of the small forest on the other side of the field. He gave me an unsure look as his gaze followed mine.

"The forest? We haven't been in there though. What if there's something scary"

I giggled softly as I began walking, basically pulling him with me

"Scary? Like what?"

"Like…um, a wolf!"

We both laughed at that one. Dan had realized his reasons for us not to go into the 'scary' place were pretty much useless.

Before long we were well into the forest, still walking hand in hand as we both looked around in amazement. It was kinda scary actually. For some reason it seemed so much darker in here. It was like on of those horror movies Dan made me watch with him, I tightened my grip on Dan's hand, keeping my eyes fixed on the pathway beneath our feet.

Then I heard it

A low growl

We both stopped dead in our tracks, glancing at each other. Dan's eyes widened as he began to look around our dark surroundings.

"Let's go home"

He urged, already trying to pull me in the direction we had just come. I just squeezed his hand tighter, giving him a reassuring smile.

"Come on, don't be scared. You're the one that's supposed to be brave" I replied softly, a small laugh passing my lips as I kept that smile on my face. He seemed to calm down a considerably amount at my words. He quickly squeezed my hand back and nodded. He was so cute when he was scared. I mean, normally I was the one that got scared at everything but here he was being terrified by a dark place.

We walked further in, the light seemed to decrease again. What was this place? Some sort of magical forest? Dan made a small whimpering noise as he heard another noise. A mix between a sort of growl and a wail. He gave me a look of pure panic before basically dragging me away.

We both ran

As fast as our tiny legs could carry us. By this point I was scared as well. What if we died right now? What if Dan was right about there being a big wolf that was going to kill us.

Then in the clearing

I saw it

I tugged Dan's hand towards the light and the object I had been looking for this whole time

A tree house

I ignored Dan's questioning looks and urged him to climb the ladder that led up to the large tree house. One we were both safely up there we looked down. Dan laughed loudly as he saw what had been following us.

A tiny dog.

The dog looked up at us and began to bark happily. We both dissolved into fits of laughter, practically rolling around the wooden floor.

"How could I have been scared of that?" he managed to get out as he attempted to stop laughing.

"You should have seen your face!" I added, trying to contain my giggles that were still currently trying to abrupt from me. He pushed my arm lightly and pouted at me "shudup" he grumbled, adverting his eyes to the ground. I only laughed more, nudging him so he'd look up at me. "I'm sorry, stop being moody and let's play, yeah?" those few words were enough to bring a huge grin to his face. His smile was soon replaced by another questioning look as he looked into my eyes.

"Wait, was this what you wanted to show me?" he asked, gesturing around him to the tree house.

"Yup"

"But how did you-"

"I heard some older boys talking about it when we were in the lunch room the other day and thought we should make it our new gang hut" I told him excitedly.

He grinned at me, suddenly pouncing on me and knocking me backwards so I was lying on my back with him lying on top of me. "It's awesome. We'll have the most fun ever here!"

I laughed lightly as I felt his arms come around me tightly. I mirrored his actions. Hugging him back with just as much force.

He slid off of me. Us both just lying there with our arms around each other looking at the blue sky through the tiny gaps in the roof. It was moments like this that I really loved. Just being able to sit with my best friend and watch the world go by. It was like only we existed in the world. Only two best friends in a huge world.

"Hey, Phil?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you"

I grinned. Dan was the best, best friend ever

"I love you too"

************************************************** *******************

We spent many afternoons like that. Sometimes even the whole day. Just the two of us lying there in each others arms as we looked up at the sky.  
So peaceful  
So beautiful  
It didn't even occur to me that best friends weren't supposed to be that close. They were supposed to enjoy each others company, not lie in each others arms all day. But honestly, I didn't care. Dan and I had something special.  
Something amazing  
Something I had with no one else  
I guess that's why he's my best friend


	3. Chapter 3

"So, yeah, it was the coolest Lion ever!"

"Really? Aren't all lions cool to you though?"

"I guess. But this was super awesome!"

Dan laughed as he ruffled my hair playfully

"You're my little lion, aren't you Phil?"

I grinned happily, hugging him tightly

"Yup, and you're my Danasaur!"

We were now fourteen, and still acted like this. We couldn't help it, I guess. We had always been like this. Always very close, very immature. But it's the way we were. I loved Dan so much. He was my best friend. The most special amazing guy in the world. I loved him so much for that. But of course

I never dared to even utter those words to him

We would play around, pin each other to the ground and such, laughing as always. So when it happened this time. I thought nothing of it. Thought we were only playing around again.

But then it happened

Dan tackled me to the ground, both of us grinning at each other. He quickly wrapped his arms around me, holding me in a tight embrace. I returned it, closing my eyes and I took in his scent. We had always done this, holding each other like this, for no real reason. No reason except for the fact it felt nice. It just felt so great to be held in someone's arms. Someone who you knew cared about you.

Dan loosened his grip on me as he pulled away slightly, looking deep into my eyes

"Hey, Phil?"

"Yeah?"

"You know I love you, right?"

"Of course, I love you too"

An expression I couldn't read took over his features as he continued to look at me

"No, I mean, I really love you"

I gave him a confused look. What could he mean? He really loved me? What was that supposed to mean?

"Dan, what? I don't-"

"I love you"

He gave me a nervous look, biting his lip as he looked past me.

"And I love you too" I replied, trying to figure out what was upsetting him this much.

"No, I love love you. Like…love you"

"Love me like?…"

"Like this" he replied quietly before gently pressing his lips against mine. I just blinked in confusion. A million thoughts rushing through my head. What was going on? Why was he kissing me?

Why was my best fiend kissing me?

He pulled away, adverting his eyes as he bit his lip roughly "I'm sorry Philly…"

"It's-"

"No, really. I'm sorry"

I just laughed at him. I couldn't help it. I have never seen him this serious about anything before. "You're silly Dan" I am aware that was the most childish thing I could have said, but I was right.

He was being silly

It was his turn to give me an confused look

"what do you mean-"

"I love you too"

His confusion turned into shock as he heard my words. The look on his face was hilarious. I probably shouldn't of laughed but I did.

He looked so cute.

"I already said I love you too, why won't you believe me?" I asked, a wide smile spread across my face. He smiled softly, gently reaching for my hand and hesitantly entwining out fingers. "Really?" he asked softly. "Really really"

I leaned up and gently kissed his lips. He smiled into the kiss and began to slowly kiss back. I broke the kiss eventually. Us both grinning as we looked into each others eyes.

"I love you, Dan"

"I love you too"

************************************************** *******************

"Okay, I'll see you later. Bye!"

I grinned as I waved goodbye to Dan who was now half way down the garden, attempting to walk backwards so he could wave back to me. I shut the door when he had actually made it out of the garden and onto the street.

"Phil?"

I turned around to see mum giving me an questioning look. What had I done to deserve that look now?

"Yeah?"

"Who were you waving to?"

"Dan"

She looked out the small window beside our door, obviously looking or him. I knew he would we well down the street by now, completely out of sight.

"Oh" she paused, looking thoughtful "…who's Dan?"

Was she really asking that? We had been friends forever. Had she like fallen and hit her head or something?

"Dan's…well, Dan. Are you feeling okay mum?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I just…I didn't know you had a friend"

"We've been friends for years. He's always round here"

She shook her head, as if shaking of some strange thought. she gave me a small smile.

"I have been busy recently. You'll have to invite him round for dinner some time"

"Yeah, okay" I replied, walking towards the stairs

"Phil?"

"Yeah?"

"You know you can talk to me about anything"

"Why would I-"

"Just in case you need too" she added quickly, darting back into the living room.

Mum was behaving weird. Weirder than normal. And all at the mention of Dan.

I wonder why?


	4. Chapter 4

Everything was perfect. I saw Dan everyday. We hugged, kissed. All the things that couples do. He was amazing. Perfect. The, well, best boyfriend ever. He had told me not to talk about him with mum because she would want to split us up if she found out. So I didn't. I didn't really talk to anyone. Not mum, not dad, not even Chris, even though I didn't talk to him much anyway.

No one

But Dan

We would just sit in my room, his arms around me as we watched the world go by.

************************************************** *******************

"Hey, Dan? Did you hear there's gonna be a Christmas disco at school, just before Christmas break?"

He smiled at me, softly placing a small kiss to my forehead. "Yeah, I heard about it. Do you want to go?"

"I don't know…maybe. I've never been to one before so... But, if you would with me, Id go"

I looked into his eyes, giving him my sweetest smile I could. He chuckled and placed a gentle kiss on my lips.

"Sure I'll go with you. What are you gonna wear?"

I thought for a moment. What were you supposed to wear? I had a suit. That would do, wouldn't it?

"I guess I'll wear that suit mum got me for the family part last Christmas" I bit my lip lightly "I've grown a bit since then…but it should still fit"

"And you've put on weight"

I was a little taken aback by Dan's words. He head never said anything about my weight before. I was fairly slim, okay looking…wasn't I?

"Have I?" I asked in a small voice, not really wanting to hear the answer.

"Yeah, loads. I was going to say something while you were shoving that burger down your throat today" he just shrugged, acting like it was the most casual thing in the world. "You need to watch it"

"Really…" I replied, feeling rather hurt by his words "I've…not noticed"

I got up from my bed, making my way over to the mirror. I stared at my reflection, trying to flatten my stomach down as much as I could. Was I really fat? I must be. Dan would never ever say anything to hurt me. He must just be concerned. It's probably one of those things were you can't see it yourself but everyone else can.

"I think you should watch what you eat. Your mum feeds you so much it's not necessary. You'll just keep getting fatter and fatter"

His words were beginning to physically hurt me. He had to be telling the truth though. Why would he lie? He loved me. He wouldn't deliberately hurt me like this.

"You say it like…it's a disease or something…I mean…would it be that bad if I put on a bit of weight?"

I felt Dan's arms wrap around my waist. His warm breath in my ear. I smiled softly to myself, looking at our reflection in the mirror. I guess I was kinda podgy compared to him.

He looked so amazing in his black skinny jeans and t-shirt. So slim and just…I don't even know. He just looked amazing

"You'll look better if you lose some weight, that's all" he whispered softly in my ear. See, he was just trying to look out for me.

He does love me….I think

I turned around in his arms, draping my arms over his shoulders as I bit my lip. I looked into his deep brown eyes, trying to read his expression.

"Do you…do you not like the way I look?"

He gently caressed my cheek, flashing me a small smile. "Silly Philly" he said, attempting to mimic they way I had called him silly several weeks ago. "I love you the way you are…It's just that"

he sighed

"I heard some of the guys talking about how you were getting kinda fat" he added, moving his hand from my cheek to my hair. He gently ran his fingers through my hair, giving me small reassuring smile

"You know I just want to help you fit in"

I nodded, smiling softly back at him. Of course. He was just trying to help. How could I have ever doubted him.

He loved me

I loved him

So then why, did I have a bad feeling about this?


	5. Chapter 5

I didn't know how to feel when Dan said those things to me. It was the first time he had ever been critical of me like that. Even though I felt hurt, I was sure on one thing

I didn't want to lose him

I didn't want to upset Dan in anyway. So, I did what he said. By half term I had lost a stone and a bit. Dan said that I looked great. That made me so happy. But, other people disagreed. I was confused, it seemed people liked me even less now that is was thin.

************************************************** *******************

Gym was the only class Dan and I didn't have at the same time. It was always the hardest class for me. All the judgmental looks I would get while changing. It made me quite paranoid. Quite uneasy. But most of all

Scared

I was honestly scared of them. Just one look could terrify me. I wanted Dan here. So badly. I wanted him to hold me and tell me it was all okay. Tell me everything would be all right. But of course

He wasn't here

So here I was, getting changed after gym. In my usual corner, trying to look anywhere but those terrifying stares.

"Look at that, it's disgusting. You can see all his bones sticking out"

So it had started

A boy pointed at me, sneering those words as he turned to his friends which all laughed at his remark.

"I know. He'll never get anyone interested in him look like that. It would be like hugging a skeleton. He'll end up all alone"

Another boy. They were all looking at me now. I froze, just staring back at their hateful stares. I wanted more than anything to try give them some sort of come back about how I had Dan. But of course, I didn't.

I didn't understand

I really didn't

Why did they hate me all of a sudden? I thought they wanted me to lose weight. At least, that's what Dan had said.

"You know, He used to be all right looking, a freak, but all right"

"Hey Phil, you ever heard of a thing called food"

The horrible sound of their laughter filled the room. I bit my lip, trying to keep the tears back. Why are saying tall this? I'm not that thin. I just lost a little weight. No big deal.

"You need to get some of it like"

"You're like a rake. Is your mum not feeding you or something?"

"I bet he's never at home, I see him hanging around the graveyard all the time"

"He's such a freak!"

I kept my gaze on the floor as I hurried to get changed. they were just being mean. they were just trying to get to me. There's nothing wrong with me, nothing at all

"That's enough guys. Leave Phil alone"

That was the teacher, I guess he had been listening

"What have you got next?"

One of the boys shot him a small glare before answering with serious attitude

"English, How?"

"Go now, before the bell"

They all grumbled in complaint but complied and left. I was just about to follow them when my teacher came over

"Phil, Can I have a word?"

I nodded, reluctantly placing my bag back down and looking at him. I was fairly tall but this teacher was a freaking giant. It was really intimidating actually.

"I know it's not my place to say so Phil, but, I've noticed that you're looking awfully slim there days. Have you been dieting?"

"No. just watching what I eat…that's all"

He gave me a concerned look. I adverted my eyes, gazing at the floor again. Even the teachers now? I was a fine weight. There was nothing wrong with me.

"Is your mum involved in that? Does she know anything about it?"

"No"

"Okay. You should get going. The bell's gone"

I exited the room, standing outside the door for a moment. I heard his voice again, it sounded like he was on the phone

"Hi, yeah, it's me. Could you possibly get a hold of Mrs Lester. Phil Lester's mother for me please?…thanks"

He was calling my mum?

This couldn't be good


	6. Chapter 6

I made sure I was home earlier than usual. If the school really had called mum she would have been talking about it with dad. I knew exactly what she was like. I quietly snuck in the front door, basically tip toeing to the living room door. From here I should be able to heard their whole conversation. It wasn't that I was worried mum was going to say something about me. I was more worried about what the school had told her.

"The school phoned this afternoon. They've noticed that Phil has been losing a lot of weight. We're going to talk to him about it when he comes home. We want you to be here so he knows he has the support of his family"

Wait, who was mum talking to. She would never talk to dad like that.

"Right, alright. It's probably just some weird phase he's going through. You know how strange he is"

Chris

Chris was here and mum was telling him to be supportive of me? Why was this so important?

I'm completely fine

I bit my lip lightly. I knew I had to walk into the room at some point, so, why not now? I walked in, giving them my best fake smile. I couldn't let them know I knew what they had just been talking about.

"Hi Phil, good day?" dad asked, giving me a warm smile.

"Just the usual. What are you going all sitting here like the judges on The X factor, waiting for me to burst into song or something?"

I answered quickly, trying to make some sort of joke

No one laughed

Okay, this was really serious to them obviously

"No, no, hun. I just thought it would be nice to have a family dinner. I've made your favourite"

"Thanks but I'm not really hungry. I'm just going to be up in my room if you need me"

I tried to make a run for the stairs but mums voice started up again before I could even get out of the room.

"Listen, Phil. We're really worried about you. You're spending a lot of time away from us and we've noticed…we've noticed that you've lost a lot of weight"

Here we go, this is what I had been waiting for.

"If there's something bothering you, you know you can tell us. Is it the people at school?"

Dad trying to look out for me again. I'm fine though. I just need to tell them. Tell them I'm fine. Because, I'm fine.

I really am.

"Yeah, even though I don't like people knowing we're related. But, I'd rather sort whoever it is out"

Even Chris was sticking up for me? Why were they so worried about me?

"It's fine, I have Dan"

I covered my mouth as I realized what I had just said

"Who's Dan?"

Dad had a weird look on his face. I couldn't figure out what it was

"My…um, friend"

"Your friend?"

"Yeah…"

"I didn't know you had any friends" Chris said, giving me a confused look

"We're always together, even at school…you must have seen him Chris"

Mum and dad looked to Chris, obviously expecting some sort of answer

"I've never seen you with anyone. You're always on your own"

I don't know what happened, but, I felt a sudden rush of anger. Chris was lying to try get mum and dad to think I was delusional.

"Don't lie Chris!" I turned to mum and dad who looked started by my out burst "He's lying! Dan does exists, it's not like he's made up or anything!"

"Phil-"

"NO!"

I quickly fled from the room, running as fast as I could to my room. I quickly slammed the door and sunk to the floor. Tears escaping my eyes as I brought my legs up to my chest.

Why did Chris lie like that? I knew he hated me, but to go this far. Why would he do that?

I moved to my bed after a while, burying my head in my pillow. I heard the click of the door opening. For a minute, I thought it was Dan. But then I heard mum's voice.

"Phil?"

I didn't reply. Didn't even look at her. I didn't want to.

I heard her sigh and place down a plate beside my bed. I lifted my head to look at the plate after she left. She really had made my favourite. I quickly scrabbled for the food, greedily shovelling it into my mouth. I hadn't eaten all day. I really was starving.

I had to eat.

************************************************** *******************

"How was the spaghetti Bolognese?"

I looked up to see Dan. When had he gotten here? I shook off that thought. I had probably fallen asleep for a while and he'd come in then. Yeah, that was what had probably happened.

"Good. mum was worried about me so she made it for me….How did you know that's what we had?"

"I could smell it" he paused "You look fatter already"

"…Dan?…that's not possible"

"The carbohydrates from the Spaghetti, the fat in the meat. Your body will be piling on pounds already. You couldn't resist it could you?"

"…Dan, why are you being like this?" I was close to tears again. Why was he acting like this?

He smiled at me. That amazing, lovely smile. "I'm just trying to help you…you know that don't you? He stepped towards me, holding his arms out towards me. I gladly fell into his arms, holding him tightly.

"Of course…what do I do though?…"

"Make yourself sick"

"What?"

"Go to the toilet, stick your fingers down your throat and make yourself throw up. It's the only way"

I nodded slowly, letting go of him. He gave me a reassuring smile as he nudged me towards the door.

"Go on, it's the only way" he reminded me

So I did.

I made my way into to the bathroom, just staring at the clean, white toilet. I really had to do this didn't I?

*Chris' POV*

There were some seriously weird noises coming from the bathroom. What even was that? I got up from my bed and walked to the bathroom door. Small sobs could be heard, then…someone throwing up. That's not a nice thing to hear, really, It's not.

"Phil, is that you in there?"

The noises got quieter, but I could still hear the tiny sobs

"y-yeah"

"You throwing up in there?"

"Don't tell mum and dad Chris, please. I just had a bad tummy, that's all" came his hurried little reply

"Okay, I promise"

Something wasn't right here.

Something was definitely wrong.


	7. Chapter 7

*Chris' POV*

Maybe I should have broken my promise I made Phil. But I'd never broken a promise before, and didn't intend to now. Once I said I wouldn't tell I didn't. At the time I believed what Phil had said, I thought it was a one off.

But I was wrong

Phil started to disappear as soon as we'd finished eating every night. Mum and dad never noticed because they always sat down to watch the news after dinner. They thought he was just going upstairs to do some homework.

We all found out the truth the night of the school disco

************************************************** *******************

*Phil's POV*

I straightened my tie anxiously as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. All this stress over going to some stupid disco thing. I really didn't know why I was going. I looked behind me to see Dan smiling at me from the bed. He looked amazing. Okay, he always does but he looked absolutely gorgeous tonight.

"What do you think? It was my dads" he asked me, getting up from the bed and showing off his outfit.

"It's lovely Dan. You look amazing. Anything looks good on you"

"Thanks. You look good too"

He wrapped his arms around me and gently placed a kiss to my forehead. I couldn't help but smile back. He was just so perfect.

"Do you really think I look okay? It's a bit tight, people might see the budges of fat"

"That's why blacks a good choice. It'll be dark so they'll not really notice you"

I was about to reply when there was a knock at the door. Dan shot me a disapproving look. I knew after last time I couldn't utter his name. he got really upset when I did.

"If your mum and dad say anything about how your looking, just ignore them. They want to make you fell good"

He smiled

"They'll never tell you the truth like I do"

He quickly hid behind my bed just as mum and dad came in. Mum smiled sweetly at me as she walked over and began perfecting my outfit.

"I know you don't want us fussing about you but I thought we'd come and see how you look"

I smiled at her. Typical mum. Dad just stood there observing the scene. They were now giving me quite strange looks. I seemed to be getting that look a lot these days.

"You know you would look better with a little more meat on your bones" he shrugged "I guess that's the fashion or whatever these days"

I just shrugged as an answer. I really didn't want to go through this whole talk again. They were trying to tell me I was too slim.

But I knew I was way too fat

Dan had said so. Dan never lies. He was right. They'll never tell me the truth like he does. He just wants the best for me. They just want me to be so fat and disgusting that Dan won't want me anymore

They don't like him

I can tell. They hate him. They must do

"Phil, come on, we need to go now"

Well I guess that was my cue. Saved from my own thoughts by Chris. I took a step towards the door when suddenly the room started to spin. I swayed slightly, waiting for it to pass. It always did. I always felt dizzy these days.

This was a much worse one though

I tried to steady myself but I sunk to the floor, closing my eyes in attempt to make it stop.

"Phil? Are you okay?" mum asked, knelling down beside me holding my shoulders

"Fine, it's nothing"

"Come on Phil, we're going to be late!"

"Are you sure your fine?"

Dad this time. I was just a little dizzy. Why were they so worried?

"I said I'm fine" I repeated, standing up.

I had to get away from them quickly

************************************************** *******************

"Hey Phil, who are you talking to?"

Those annoying boys were back. Just as I was having a nice conversation with Dan. Unbelievable.

"Dan. We were just saying how nice this place looks. Don't you agree?" I was trying to be nice to them, only for the fact I wanted to have a drama free night.

But of course, that didn't happen

"Dan, who's he?"

"My best friend? You know, the guy I'm always with"

"I've only ever seen you on your own loser"

That was uncalled for. Why was everyone pretending Dan wasn't there. I felt Dan tighten his grip on my hand as they boys all began to laugh at me.

"Nice outfit, you going to a funeral?"

Another horrendous set of laughter

"Yeah, his own. He looks close enough to death"

"He's past that now, he's more like a skeleton"

I could see how angry Dan was getting. He knew about the bullying yet he had never actually done anything thing.

He did this time

He quickly let go on my hand and gave the sort of leader of the group a harsh shove that made the boy fall to the ground. The group all looked shocked as they looked at me.

"Why did you do that?" one of the boys asked while the others helped their friend off the floor.

"I didn't do anything" I replied coolly, trying not to get upset and cry as usual

"You pushed him, you must of. Who else did it? Dan?"

"You made him angry, he didn't mean to push so hard"

"I felt someone push me and you're the only person here. Look around Phil. No one else is about. Admit it, it could only have been you"

"You don't have to say anything" Dan said softly as he tightly gripped my hand in his

"Admit it" the boy who Dan had pushed growled menacingly

"Don't Phil, it was me. They're only trying to make you upset by doing this"

"I said admit it faggot!"

"Okay, it was me"

"Why did you say that?!" Dan said, shooting me a disapproving look.

"And while you're at it you can admit this Dan isn't real either. He's someone you've made up just so you can say you have a friend"

I completely panicked, what was I supposed to say?

"He is real! He's standing right here"

"Liar! Admit it now!"

"Phil, don't!"

"Okay, okay…He's not real…"

Dan gave me a hurt look. Not even hurt. He looked like his heart had just been shattered. He let go of my hand and began walking away.

"No! Dan, wait-"

"What the hell is going on here?" Chris asked as he walked over.

"Why do you care Chris?"

"Cause he's my cousin, okay?" Chris shot back, giving the boys a dirty look

"Your cousin!" the boys looked horrified, not that I cared.

"Chris…I don't feel well…I feel kinda dizzy…"

The room was spinning again. I closed my eyes, letting the tears fall as I fell into someone's arms. For a moment, I thought it was Dan. But then I heard Chris' voice calling my name.

Why had I done something so stupid?

What if I never saw Dan again?


	8. Chapter 8

*Chris' POV*

The school called an ambulance, I went with him of course. He looked so pale and, well, honestly he looked terrible. He kept mumbling while he was unconscious. Something about not leaving him. It was the most terrifying ride to the hospital I had ever encountered.  
When we arrived his mum and dad were already there. They looked so scared. Then again.

I was scared as well

A doctor took us into a small white room and began to talk

"Anorexia"

He told us

"Actually, it's conman in teenagers. However, it's normally females. According to the UK statistics only 11% of all patients are male. This could have been caused by anything. Anything from a change at home or stress at school. Just don't beat yourselves up over this. We will do all we can for Phil here. But when he returns home, It's up to you, his family, to support him."

He was wrong though, Phil didn't recover, he just became worse and worse

************************************************** *******************

*Phil's POV*

This is what I get, isn't it?

I chased away the love of my life

I deserved all of this

I missed Dan terribly. I was completely bedridden, I could even go out to look for him. It was almost torture being alive.

I didn't want to live without him

"Hey, you alright there, can I get you anything?"

Dad was back again. They had all being trying to be super nice to me. All trying to suck up to me. Did they think I would get better if they were?

I wasn't going to get better though, was I?

"..No thanks dad. Have you seen Dan? Are you sure he hasn't been here looking for me?"

"No, I've not seen him"

I sighed, closing my eyes as I lay back against my pillow. Dan didn't want to see me ever again did he?

I felt a small kiss being placed on my cheek then dad left the room. I thought that would be the visitors done for the day but someone else walked in. I opened my eyes. I really thought it was going to be Dan

But no

Just Chris

"Hey"

He greeted casually, sitting down awkwardly in the chair that was now prematurely by my bed.

"Hey. Was Dan at school today?"

"I've told you Phil, I've never seen him at school. Not before…all this. Not ever"

"But you promise you'll tell me if you see him, won't you? Could you tell him I'm sorry. I never meant to say he wasn't real" I bit my lip, blinking back tears as I stared at my hands "I just wanted those boys to leave me alone…"

Chris sighed, gently patting my shoulder "I know…I'll tell him"

And with that he was gone

************************************************** *******************

It was a while before anyone else came in. I had fallen asleep not long after Chris had left. I was awoken awhile later by someone else coming in the room

"Dan?" I asked quietly, not wanting to open my eyes. I knew if I did I would only be filled with disappointment.

"No, hun, it's mum"

I kept my eyes closed. I only wanted to see Dan

No one else

"Com on, let's open the curtains up and get a bit of light in here"

I finally opened my eyes to see mum making the curtains sit perfectly. Of course they had to be perfect. It was mum.

"Do you think Dan will ever forgive me?… I hate not having him here. I love him mum…I just want him back"

"I know you miss him. But I don't know if he'll be back. I've tried to tell you before but only /you/ know Dan.

"I know…."

************************************************** *******************

*Chris' POV*

Phil asked about Dan everyday. Then one day, he just gave up. He gave up hope that Dan would ever come back for him. We tried to tell him that Dan wasn't real, No one else could see him. But of course

He wouldn't listen

After that, things really started to go down hill. It just seemed like something in him was slipping away. We tried out very best to get him to eat.

But he wouldn't

I tried to at least get him to talk to us but he would just stare blankly. It was almost like he wasn't there at all. Like he'd completely given up on life. Dan must have been something really special for Phil to get this bad.

We tried so hard. Everyday I spent at least an hour by his bedside, trying to strike up a conversation. He actually spoke to me once. But I don't like to think about it. I didn't tell anyone what he said. I was too scared to. It made me realize just how miserable he was.

He asked me too kill him

To end his suffering

He didn't want to live anymore

I think it was then I understood just how serious this was. He wanted to die. It wasn't because he couldn't eat that he wasn't.

He was trying to kill himself.

I was agonizing to watch. Day after day his parents trying to get through to him but nothing ever worked. He just lay there. Staring at the wall.

It killed them

His mum would break down every day. She couldn't handle it. Neither could his dad. No one could. We had to learn to accept it though

He was going to die

He would sleep most of his days away. Just laying there unable to move. Once a lovely, active boy now reduced to this pale, miserable soul.

He was going to die

And there was nothing we could do about it.


	9. Chapter 9 -END-

*Chris' POV*

It was deadly silent

Almost uncomfortable

Okay, it was uncomfortable. I mean. we were at a funeral, why wouldn't it be?

I heard a small sob from my left.

So the tears had started. Just another breakdown

These had become a common thing since his death. His mum crying while his dad tried to calm her down with tears streaming down his own face. They'd lost their son. Of course they were going to act this way.

"I think I'm ready to go…" his mum tried to say as she choked back more tears

"Come on then"

"Can I have a minute?"

They both nodded to my question. His dad wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders and led her to where the car was parked at the bottom of the hill. It was just like last time. Except.

I'm where Phil was.

I sighed softly as I slowly sat down next to the fresh grave. It was so hard to believe he was under there.

"I'm so sorry I never tried to get to know you better. Or even to be a friend to you. Maybe even if I had just tried…" Tears began to cloud my vision as I spoke "Maybe this wouldn't have happened. I feel it's all my fault, you know that Phil? Like, If I have been that one friend you needed. You wouldn't be dead. It's crazy isn't it? I never thought in a millions years you would go this way…"

It hurt so much just to talk to him like this.

"I really wish I had been more nice to you. We could of gotten on. Couldn't we? We wouldn't have just been: That lonely, loser kid and his ultra popular cousin. I'm just…I'm so sorry Phil. I never wanted this to happen.

I wiped away several tears that were making their way down my cheeks. It shouldn't hurt as much as it did. It seriously felt like a physical pain in my chest. What was this feeling?

Guilt?

Regret?

I had no idea. But it hurt so much.

"You know, your mum's making spaghetti Bolognese tonight in your honour. I don't think I'll be able to eat it. I don't think anyone will…but…of course I won't tell her that…"

"In his honour? …did he like spaghetti Bolognese? Sorry I just over heard what you were saying

I looked up. My eyes meeting with dark brown ones. He was a boy, a little younger than me with brown slightly curly hair. He looked down at me, giving me a small smile. I gave him a hostile look. I really wasn't in the mood for this. He gave me a hurt look. Not even hurt. He looked like his heart had just been shattered. He turned to leave, his gaze fixed on the ground.

"Stop. Sorry, you just took my by surprise…that's all. But yeah. It was Phil's favourite"

I replied, offering him a small smile. He turned around. A matching smile on his own face.

"Really? It's my favourite too. I'm Dan"

"…Dan…"

"Yeah, What's your name?"

"Chris"

He both grinned at each other

He was just like Phil, He was perfect

************************************************** *******************

It wasn't until later that it occurred to me that it was a strange place to meet someone. I mean, not many people can say that they met their best friend at a funeral. Even so, I knew then, that Dan and I would be friends for life. He was like the relative I never took the time to get to know.

************************************************** *******************

*Dan's POV*

It happened six years ago

We were driving home from the cinema. It was a completely normal drive home. I was in the back with my little brother while mum and dad were in the front. Dad was driving, mum talking to him about how we couldn't afford this months bills. I may have only been eight but I understood we didn't have a lot of money. We were only at the cinema because it was my brothers birthday. Their conversation soon turned into an argument. Them screaming at each other.

You don't look at the road while you're arguing.

That's how accidents happen

That's how our accident happened

I don't remember much, only that

I was the last to die

Mum and dad had both died on impact. Their skulls shattered against the dashboard. There was so much blood, it was everywhere. I could hardly breathe. I didn't want to open my eyes again.

But then I heard the cry

My brother. My precious brother. He was dying. I opened my eyes to see him barely breathing, whimpering softly. I tried to move my hand. It was surely broken but I managed to somehow. I held him in my arms as his heartbeat slowly began to fade. He was now just a corpse like mum and dad. I remember my eyes feeling heavy. I knew you weren't supposed to go to sleep

But I had to

I couldn't stay awake

That's how I died

I was left to just wonder around. I knew I was dead, yet. Where was everyone? There were a lot of people, of course there were. A lot of people who were alive and happy. I tried to ask for help but no one heard me.

Then there was Phil

I had not been heard by so many people I had given up on all means of actually having a conversation. But I liked to talk. I wanted to make friends. So when I saw him sitting there. I knew I wanted to try talk.

When he actually responded I was so happy. I finally had someone. I wouldn't wonder through this life alone anymore. I found out I could take his place and become human again if I killed him. At the start I was completely for it. I gained his trust completely by becoming his best friend.

But then I fell in love

I fell in love with him. I fell in love with everything about him. His amazing personality, his gorgeous smile. Just everything. So when I told him this and he loved me back. It was the best thing for me

But things couldn't be perfect forever

I knew I still had to kill him

I knew I couldn't do it myself. I could never hurt my Phil like that

Ever

So I made him do it himself. He did everything I told him too. It terrified me that I had caused him to do this.

It was tearing him apart

Yet I continued

It was the night of the disco when I realized what I had done. He was so close to dying.

I couldn't take it

After that argument with those boys I left. I couldn't bear to watch Phil die like that. I loved him so much. It hurt. It really hurt.

I eventually went back to see how he was. But it was too late

He was already dead.

I slowly began to feel again after that. Slowly becoming more and more human. By the time of his funeral I was normal teenage boy. I spoke to Chris, he seemed lovely now. Nothing like he used to be. I guess it took Phil dying to actually change him.

We're best friends now Chris and I. I see Phil's mum and dad everyday. We're honestly like one big happy family

The happy family I never had


End file.
